Life – Page 5 – Betty's Thoughts

In early 2010 I was getting serious about the possibility of a major transition. I had danced around this for years – feeling a restlessness that never completely went away. Do I make a change or not? How do I know if there’s “something else” out there? What’s the wise thing to do? I had lived in Connecticut longer than I had lived anywhere in my whole life. I couldn’t imagine leaving my friends. What if I failed? The list went on and on.

In January of that year, I discovered this prayer and it put into words what I yearned for: Lord, help me now to unclutter my life, to organize myself in the direction of simplicity. Lord, teach me to listen to my heart; teach me to welcome change, instead of fearing it. Lord, I give you these stirrings inside me. I give you my discontent. I give you my restlessness. I give you my doubt. I give you my despair. I give you all the longings I hold inside. Help me to listen to these signs of change, of growth; help me to listen seriously and follow where they lead through the breathtaking empty space of an open door. (Prayer for a Major Life Transition, from Common Prayer: A Liturgy for Ordinary Radicals by Shane Claiborne)

In the weeks following this prayer’s entrance into my life, I did move forward. The restlessness and the sense of call to move into a new ministry phase could no longer be ignored. It was time to say “yes” without holding back. Even with the scary parts. So by July I had sold my house, packed my stuff into storage pods, loaded my car and I found myself at Adventures in Missions.

It was the beginning of an amazing journey. About a year into it, however, I felt the Holy Spirit’s nudging toward another leap of faith. That is what this blog was for me. I knew it was a smaller leap of faith than leaving friends and moving 1,000 miles, but I tend to over-analyze things – and that can immobilize me. What do I write about? How often? Is it an update, a devotional, a connecting place? I didn’t know. And that was my leap of faith – starting something that I didn’t have figured out. This much I did know – it was time to leap. And for now, that has to be enough.

[This was my first post, in February of 2012. The next few weeks/months on this blog will largely be revisiting the previous posts I’ve written, editing them and moving them to this new platform. New material may occur from time to time but will largely be after I get everything else transferred.]

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I blogged for the first time about 11 years ago. Months before that I had made a major change – uncharacteristic for me. I moved away from deep, deep friendships and a church that had been a lifesaver for me and landed 1000 miles away working for a non-profit, faith-based missions organization.

My life and emotions had been on a roller coaster. My husband had left after 25 years of marriage. I had to re-enter the job market after years of being a stay at home mom and volunteer. My kids were (appropriately) leaving home for college and other pursuits.

I felt a restlessness. After years of feeling I could barely breathe, I was feeling stronger and healed, less timid and fearful, and ready for a future – in many ways on my own – that looked very different from what I had anticipated for my mid-50s.

Blogging became a way of processing life and change. It was a way to share a story with others – hopefully a story that encourages them to believe that hope is possible even after deep valleys. That healing journeys toward wholeness are worth the pain and effort of taking them. To help people feel understood (they are not alone) and to help others understand people going through experiences they haven’t.

Since making the move in 2011, I’ve built Parent Ministry at Adventures in Missions – a chance to help parents vet us as an organization, understand what we do and why we do it, and to encourage them to see their son or daughter’s extended mission trip as an opportunity for a journey of their own.

So along the way, I’ve written some for parents as well.

I’m an inconsistent blogger. But I’m looking back at these years and it seems time to move onto a new platform, revisit the blogs I’ve written (do some tweaking and editing) and re-launch the story.

For the first few months, the primary content will post with little time between posts and it will be previously written material with some updating and additional reflection as appropriate.

After that, I think I have some new thoughts to share.

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About Me

I write to process things and, if I think it’s worth sharing, I do. I’m a mother to two adult children. I was married for 25 years until my husband left for a different life. For most of my adult life, I was a stay at home mom but re-entered the job market in my early 50s and made a major change/move in my mid-50s.

Through all the ups and downs, I find my solid rock in Jesus. Not a promise of an easy life – but a constant companion who has been faithful to provide everything I need.

I currently work for a non-profit, faith-based mission organization helping parents navigate their own journey as they release their sons and daughters to a longer term mission trip.